Real Dancers in a Fake World

“Unfortunately, and I hate to say this, but in this industry looks are very important…” said the lady.

sitting by window

I had just finished auditioning for a dancing gig at one of the hottest entertainment companies out there. I stood there and listened, live, as the hiring manager gave me the same feedback she gave all the other girls who danced before me. She was sweet and honest, so I had no reason not to smile in the name of honesty. I nodded in agreement, making sure she understood that I understood how this business works. After all, I’ve done this many times before. I just wanted to share this one with you all.

Not sure if I mention it anywhere on my blog, but I’m a born-dancer. I love dancing. Never went to school for it, but give me a beat and I’ll dance my ass off like a pro! (Ahem, self-promotion.) However, regardless of my skills, it is hard to get in the industry if “professional” training never happened.

I’m a freelancer with a short resume trying to get back in the game. The only kind of dancing I can get into without a big portfolio, it seems, is go-go dancing (club dancing), which I’m totally okay with. The problem is that the majority of entertainment companies are hiring girls based solely on the “eye-candy” bullshit. And to meet that standard girls must have breasts the size of their heads. You get the point.

I can’t say all companies are like that — as I said, I was a go-go dancer myself and it worked out for me. But once a girl is in it, she sort of has to fake it if her boobs don’t pop up enough. (“How we fake it,” will be in my book!)

What upsets me is that 1) they do this all for men’s amusement; and 2) physical appearance rules over skills. This society is obsessed with pleasing men, WTF?! No offense to the good fellas, but I think it’s ridiculous how much emphasis is put on the male’s perspective. And, DAMN you, mainstream! I was home doing my workout once and a song by rapper Ludacris came up on my radio. The name of the song is “Southern Hospitality” and the lyrics are just… I mean, here’s the chorus that violated my ears:

All my women in the house if you chasing cash
And you got some big titties with a matching ass
With ya fly-ass boots or ya open toes
When ya get on the flow ([N-word] throw them ‘bows)

Of course, he replaces women with “hoes” in every other line, too.

“Big tits and a matching ass” though… The only thing I can say is that there is no place for a small girl in the hip hop world! (Thankfully?)

Going back to the dancing audition, dancing skills aren’t as important as looks when it comes to go-go dancing these days. “Looking for models” instead of dancers would be more appropriate wording. I think it’s a shame and totally unfair to real performers.

Hire dancers accordingly, nightclubs! Unless you’re a strip club, dancers don’t need large breasts to entertain an audience. They dance. Beauty counts, but I think most club-goers would also like to feel the energy, feel that they’re at a nightclub, not at a beauty contest.

Anyway, small-busted dancers out there, don’t let anything stop you! Beauty comes in all forms and shapes and it’s about time the entertainment industry gets it right.



  1. This flat-chested thing really has you vexed. I can see. If you ever say it doesn’t bother you or get you down, I won’t believe it. You’re really up in arms about it. But, I see why.

    I know college and “professional training/experience” are supposedly essential or considered important to hiring people for all sorts of jobs. But, I also know plenty who seem to slack through their educations and pass regardless. I saw it in high school and helped (that flat-chested girl of whom I just spoke on another post) through college English. I don’t know how people slack off and still complete everything needed to get the paper they need to get a job which often doesn’t apply the degree or makes it obsolete in a few years time. If it’s an investment thing like textbooks…if what you learn doesn’t matter as long as you invest 40+ thousand in some “school”, why don’t people just BUY a degree with savings from their labors? I am sure there are avid people who just aren’t good students or intimidated/discouraged by (or can’t afford) higher education. Complex efforts to offer scholarships and all sorts of free passes/assistance from talk show celebs and whatnot enter the picture and make it all seem like a silly spectacle for tax write-offs. Blah.

    If all you can get is a club gig…and sleazeballs want you to have bigger boobs….you’re in the wrong line of work. This is like me with my art. Where do I go with it? I’m not good enough for this lot or qualified with some program for that lot. I don’t want to use my talents for porn/hentai or sleazy deviant crap of any other sort. And, freelance solo doesn’t seem too smart/effective. At least, I don’t feel the entrepreneur type. Do you? Could you be Bruce Lee and start your own “dance dojo” if no one else would hire you?

    Personally, I have a hard time watching performers of most kinds regularly. I watch “Dancing with the Stars” and would rather dance with a few of the pros than sit and watch them flaunt their goods in skimpy outfits like go-go (or can can at the Moulin Rouge) or “Solid Gold” dancers. I don’t feel comfortable around loud, lively gatherings. I don’t understand the point of background dancers when a solo artist or group is singing. And, I don’t need or like to see women flaunting in dance or photos/art. It seems almost sleazy or tacky. If they have boobs and they happen to jiggle while they dance, fine. But, you don’t have to plop them in my face. I am not a good spectator at musicals/ice skating shows, for example. I’d rather peek occasionally from a booth or at my TV set than sit and watch people zip and leap around. In a way, dance is like poetry to me. If I am not writing it out…if I am not dancing or expressing/utilizing myself…what am I doing here? I don’t get it. But, I suppose I do like watching couples tango:) And, I did like “Wicked”. But, if I had to sit through “Cats” again, I’d want to be in the back of the theater or meeting with Cassandra after the show:D

    1. You sure have a lot to say, Sir. 😀 That’s good. I created a blog and I’m writing a book about being small-breasted in America. So, I’d say, yes — it’s a subject that I have plenty to talk about. It doesn’t bother me at all to be smaller; what bothers me is how society tries to put our girls down because of it. How the mainstream media keeps encouraging this culture of superficiality and ridiculous standards. I am joining thousands of other women-empowering advocates who want to put an end to this nonsense. It’s a tough battle, but we all love the challenge. I want all women to know that they’re beautiful no matter their sizes! My personal stories are not even that bad compared to some other women in the industry. I went to college, have a career and could probably do some other boring stuff with my life. But dancing/performing is much more fun. 🙂


      1. Hi:) Or, HOLA!

        Yea, you got the fire in me going:) I get a lil self-conscious later and hope I didn’t say too much.

        I don’t know if a book is as important as speaking one’s mind. Too many are putting out books in hopes their message will get around. But, in this day and technology age, don’t we do as well with a blog or YouTube video?

        My feeling toward books and “experts” is we should think less of our expertise and just speak our minds with those around us. Good words or trends spread faster by word of mouth than printed word. It only takes one starlet to get a class of people wearing jelly bracelets or rolled up socks. But, I don’t think the idea came from a New York Times best seller. Just as a store like Macy’s wouldn’t sell much if they waited for someone to read about the fashions in a book without seeing them on a rack/model. Save the fictional stories we cannot live and autobiographies for books. Save the “advice”/opinions/speeches for the podium/soapbox/blog/message board.

        But, you might be gut-set in this pursuit. And, if I say any more, I could just make you irate. I just don’t think a book is the best route with the subject.

        We need to think about how we can change the “stereotype” in ways other than picket sign parades and bullhorn shouting matches. Burning bras only went so far. Sitting in the “wrong” section of the bus only went so far…though it remains a source of inspiration to some.

        I am skeptical of changing the standards/media without having power over the media. I think what controls the trend is a deeply rooted paper trail of rich folks who have the financial sway to get their way…and keep an old habit going. Any protest without financial backing seems more like a stunt discussed for a week on TV/radio before it gets replaced by the next piano-playing cat or crotch shot from a kid.

        If we can’t change the media, let’s go around them. If we can’t change the minds of those club guys who only want big-breasted “shakers”, let’s starve them (or, rather, save both them and us the “grief” of turning some flat-chested beauty away). [Save your breath/time, in other words.] If some business is becoming too much of a monopoly, let’s not concede and go along with them. Let’s give our business to someone smaller (for now). And, let’s all learn to work/live with less. This goes bigger than discrimination over body sizes. It’s agism and sales “quotas”…overproducing and chemical treating…ruining nature in favor of “NOW! NOW! NOW!…too late; NEXT!” Nuclear power or excessive mining/drilling could ruin the world for everyone before we change the minds of a few determined to keep a certain look in women a “model” standard.

        If the media spotlight is a problem, let’s avoid the spotlight and work from the shadows/back streets. I think that’s how so much crime gets “permitted” behind the cameras. It boils down to numbers. But, sometimes, you can’t attack the castle directly.

        Also, this isn’t likely just a problem in America. The USA is just one TV set in the world. It’s a trendsetter, maybe. But, some countries don’t even give the USA the time of day yet carry on with habits that are just as backwards. And, I am sure there are other places in the world where flat-chested women are thought less of than the buxom types. If we get other countries on board, maybe the US castle can be breached from a different country/angle.

        So, if I haven’t said enough/too much, already…:P…I think you’re saying plenty right here about the matter. Now, you just have to get people to read your statements. Dance your way onto public venues where you can speak your mind…not just shake your booty. 🙂

        No, don’t do boring stuff. We’re supposed to do what makes us happy, right? Work isn’t meant to always if ever “fun”…but we shouldn’t feel like slaves or run-down prostitutes, either. Nor should we sell our souls for money just because some “quickie” scheme sounds promising.

        I just think you might find a different venue for your dancing passion. Maybe you will invent/start something new rather than beat yourself against the walls of “Sorry, babe. No boobs, no business. Let me see what you gotz.” You’ve got beauty, heart and passion. Don’t waste it in one direction going nowhere. But, if you’re one of those who gets nine nos before getting the great one yes, more power to ya.

        And, what of your artistic interests elsewhere? I’d like to know more of your thoughts/feelings on drawing. You started a blog with such an odd name. What is it that makes you give such thought to drawing?

        All my advice is dust in the wind. I just try to make something work with someone. I try to make a positive difference.

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